They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Sometimes I tend to leap and this is no exception. But then I never was one for inching into the water - I always jumped right on in. Here is a prayer request I recently shared with my prayer warriors and church family:
I am feeling so very nervous right now. I want to do what He wants me to do. This position MUST be filled by His choice and if I am not HIS choice I do not want to be there. If I AM His choice I want to be obedient and not let fear rule. This is not a job - it is a calling. Fragile lives will be being rebuilt or maybe even built for the first time.
For me personally this would mean I have to sell or rent my house, give away my cats, take a 45% salary reduction and give up the generous benefits package I have at my current job. (all of which could be lost at any time since no job is 100% secure) I will also have the culture shock of suddenly living with others after living alone for about 20 years. (Will I remember to close the bathroom door?!?)
This job will also mean that many of my heart's desires would be realized. God would be using ALL of the sin from my past for His good and His glory. (WOW!) I would be living in the country on a farm (HALLELUJAH!) I would no longer be tied to a secular desk job. I would get to be a mom and a housewife like I always wanted to be. (minus the husband) There may be grandchildren at some point, too. I would be able to do my pottery. I would get to try out some of those recipes I've always wanted to try but had no one to cook them for. :) I could dust off my sewing machine (and possibly successfully sew something!) And there may even be horses to ride without being responsible for their care. These are big issues for me that cannot have a dollar value assigned. I guess that means they are priceless.
When the salary is calculated based up on the actual time and cost of my current job I would be clearing the same or even possibly more per hour at the reduced salary. This is a live in job so room, board and food are provided. There may even be a car provided. (that's not for sure yet - like the horses) I suppose if the car didn't happen and mine died I could go Amish-like and ride a horse around. I might be late for church if that happens. :)
I am nervous and rambling but it has helped me to write this out. Anyway, I would surely appreciate your prayers. And to think that as recently as 3 1/2 years ago I was still guarding my secrets. I am absolutely amazed beyond words.
PS. The verse on my calendar for today is Isaiah 30:21: When you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'this is the way,; walk in it'. The meditation thought below that reads: At my points of decision today, remind me that life was never meant to be risk-free. Keep me alert to Your gentle direction.
I have given notice with my current employer and will begin a new chapter in my life as the house manager for Refuge for Women in March. Between now and then I will be finding a home for my cats, clearing out my house and looking for either a buyer or a renter.
When viewed from a logical or financial perspective the only conclusion would be that I have lost my mind. I believe that perhaps my mind needs to stay lost! God has a lot to work out for me - especially in the finances. Finding a good home for my cats is on His plate as well. And walking me through my fears. I suspect He is carrying me.
Dear reader, I hope you realize He is carrying you, too.
His girl,
AM
Priceless
15 years ago